My demonic spaniel

Today, I'm going to tell you about Lily.
She even has glowing eyes in this picture.  That's not even a mistake or camera-glare.  That's Lily's true evil shining though.  I will grant that most of us say lovely things about our dogs and talk about how they are life-long companions with hearts made out of marshmallows.  Nope, not Lily.  Spawn of the Devil.

From a young age, Lily was always very different from Paris (shown here with a bad haircut and a look for horror on his face that I'm capturing said haircut on film).  Paris is a snuggle-whore to the nth degree, mellow and an amazing dog.  Because he was so amazing, and also lonely, I got Lily.  It seemed like a good idea.

But, where Paris was mellow and laid back, Lily was that kid that ate too much ice cream before bed.    She ran and jumped and barked and whined all the time.  I thought "ok, she's a puppy, she'll outgrow it."  I was right.  She outgrew crazy and went into evil-genius mode.  She hired Paris and Chihuahua-Bill on as minions.  She started with little things, like jumping up onto coffee tables and digging in garbage, but slowly worked her way up to things like moving furniture so she could climb up onto countertops and cross the kitchen unnoticed and mysteriously unlocking her kennel while I was at work. She figured out how to open closed jars so she could eat the things that were on the inside.  One day, Mike came home to find her shoulder-deep into a Costco-sized jar of peanut butter.

Lily can count.  It's creepy.  We typically put two scoops of food into the bowl.  If we just put in one, she'll stare or scratch the food bin until we add the second one.  She's also taken to moving her entire eating area (food dish, water dish, and rug) into the bedroom if she feels we should fill something up.

Lately, it's gotten extra weird.  She's decided that Mike is HER mate and she tries to protect him at all costs.  She growls at me when I get into bed and last night... new level of crazy... I woke up in the middle of the night to find her standing in the middle of the bed staring at him while he slept.  I'm not sure if she's being protective or plotting to murder us in our sleep.  Of course, as I write this, she's curled up in my lap, snoring and looking very innocent.

I don't believe it for a minute.

Comments

  1. That's too funny!! I thought I had the only dog who moved furniture to get to things he wanted. From the time we got him 12 years ago to the day he died two weeks ago, my DH said that Dodger's button was stuck on "evil". He was extremely intelligent, and could learn the most complex tricks in minutes, like weaving backwards between my legs. If I didn't give him something to do then he'd get up to no good.As bad as he was, he had the most amazing temperament. He was never mean to anything or anyone. Life was never boring with him, and we'll miss him forever.I hope you find a way to channel your Lily's "evil", I bet she's just smarter than the average dog.
    I also had a dog that used to get the peanut butter out of an upper cupboard, unscrew the metal top and eat the PB. That was back in the days of glass PB jars and we never figured out how she did it without breaking the very large jar.
    I'd love another evil dog, and I adore Cavaliers. A Blenheim one would match my Brittany nicely.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why teachers stop teaching

Why teachers stop teaching - part 2

So... now it's over...